Poetry

His brown skin is not dark
as midnite but golden like
a late sunset
His eyes like mine in the bedroom
we fuck and suck and lick the pleasure
from sweet brown skin like sugar

There is no home-no one
language-common bond:
without ???
where is the ???
without mother
where is the feminine?

Saving grace in the
arms of a lover
an escape toward a Mexican Journey
an Indian marriage
a Sri-lankan ski

Shadow Angels
of death and fear
IGUANA CROCODILES
TO BEAR
I look in the shadow
afraid to see
there is but one
me

Here, there, everywhere
I go
I leap to learn
the shades
beyond the veil

Who is there, Angel
beside me
inside me
I must earn
my way in, to take off
the layers
become lean

it's wrong, something is terribly wrong
next door
The baby's room is spread
Quilts, pillows, and baby blue ribbon line the crib
but its been two years and no baby appears

Home of beauty
Run ragged
run dry, by him after lie after lie

A Jewish Easter

The liberty of the Jews in the city
lanscape of Philadelphia in 1991

We were making our family
history

Mom flew in by night
gazed over the moon
she would never notice the light
woke me up early
to ride down to independence hall
it was Passover
we were going to her brother's
funny, all my life, I felt passed over

We have history
It's so exciting
to break unleavened bread
with the broken members
of our family

Sucking, fucking, biting and chewing
All good grooming for cats and other mammals
But why can humans
lick themselves clean?
That's rude thats lude-its canniblaisitc
if you took a bite
of someone you loved's being!

Yellow boats
beam on the forefront of her feet
her body big and heavy and wide
hair grey, wise and tattered
jaw erect, loosening by her arm fingers carressing
Oversized shirt and long too long grey pants
that dangle loosely
over the yellow clogs from Holland
One day in America in the late
late 90's too late to
have followed the fashion of the sixties
unless it was bought at a thrift
store-recently or held in abeyance
in a wide room attic

Sari hearing her voice today
picturing her face with hair
made one melt in the
sand waves of mexican
beaches

I remember sunlight
shining on my eyes and her
laughter heard in the distance
up close.

Waist water high
in the sky of southern California
I eat to stuff the gill
I am one more fish to fill
the ocean with polluted people's
waste and paper plates and
plastic a disposable mode of

Saving grace in the
arms of a lover
an escape toward a Mexican Journey
an Indian marriage
a Sri-lankan ski

Pacifica Goodbye

You stripped the grass to fabricate a store
in a strip mall
You sold an idea that went immediately to
the network of a TV tube
concepts floated out there

Holy wood
Ever wonder why its holy
a place to spill your sins
inside
yourself
outside
on the big picture screen
Holly, would you be in the biz
if you wish desire and could be?
Its a starge name
a strange game
to play in a town of callers

Tea rose

My life is an aphrodisiac
to take me higher
to the next hard on
with your oil in the night
flowers blooming

Defying Natural

I came out into the sun
I came out to hunt in the golden sand
and found no shadow at high
noon
I left my shadow in a grey beach hut
to swoon

The border I walk is a deep
wide lonely cavern, inside I trespass on
and said
I never knew had grown within
Fungus probe deeply as the
gap between me grows
the true versus false "you"
separate partners in the same equater
no longer linger in
inside harmonic tones
only groans that wail
better tears in the night

Stressed
Memory
Swore at her
life like a prostitutes
never ending
family's wound
banging her muscle joints in and out
Colonies of men, she allows to agress
her own life
becomes a digression
remembered as a young girl
wise woman
She's lost in a male swirl

Smash
Pain
Smoothly
inside a
margarita glass

Intermezzo

6 A time when you'll be there
on the eve of my despair
I'll maker sure to weave my hair
in curled ringlets of gold
like an African bride that will not unfold
the gnattiness up on her head
to play eith me or its dead
how many years has it been said
hold me in your arms until I
climb back into the cocoon we once
shelved and built threads for the family there

The loss of an archetype

The seductress in marriage goes astray
one day
years of settling in-she
takes a long high hike into the
mountains further up north than
Malibu
The Andes seem high enough
as she travels afar further
but no on the Savannah plateau
She meets a guri guide who steals
her to his homeland in the Himalayas
tells her to reach further

The boy with the blue
eyes
rode the train
quietly looking out the window at every turn
to see butterflies
moths beneath pure trees
and a large lake called Champlain
HJe didn't know my heart was pounding
The whistle blew
Last stop!
We both got out
"Not much to do around here,
but htere sure is a lot to look at", said he.
And disappeared
across the American railway track

Blown away are sticky layers
of mud-A time bomb goes off
near. Nearer that the
far East
Nearer still from the Mid East
in fact, it begins in the Western Hemisphere.
A place I feared

Michele Bigulio and Stu Bly-all friends
drop like flies from the honey
I let go a new shell gets broken
and I am closer to the inner chick
who lives like a child

Married in Israel
you baceame my holy temple
God approved
near the site of the wailing wall
We had a sacred mission
on this planet earth
ordained as you "called" it you ???
We had presence and pride
Only Israelis could sanction
Do you think God whispers
in Hebrew
I heard him say its
a holy day and even though
in America people were
desicating turkeys to
remember the slaughter of
the American Natures
Some people still stuffed
their face giving thanks to
the Pilgrims as they were
wrongly taught for ages

Wed no more tears
for in our love
Fears will overcome together
On our Honeymoon
after the marriage

Cross Identity

of a blonde white woman walking
thru the market in Port Au Prince
speaking a fluent creole
so integrated
so well loved
that they mistook
her
for
a light skin
black
who dyed
her hair and wore white
skirts and fancy
jewels
in
order to seem
other

Bettina gets the best of me
meets me: a
challenge
Hollywood
star situations wane
I'm more a child
of earth .

Finished File

walked in the hospital
crowded
violence
in faces

unaware
gun shudders

played in my ear
like russian roulette

corrupt culture
needs
honest contact
in a wounded world

Hiding my exposed skin, dirty

A surfer rides her wave,
she too rides me
even while
i sit thirty feet away
in a black
leather jacket
grimy from a NYC street

I cannot leave
the oceans body
today

(she is cleaning my soul)

Lovers seen
entangled
at jetty edge

Swallows dip down
too, to catch
the ocean's spree

I feel full
breeze blowing
my dark
wet suit

The Gift

sloppy, greasy skillet
in front of me
instep with the
five A.M.
crowd
break
between
Night and Day
sadness drained
in smoke and soft
voices
i feel
again in my heart
i've left

my head

The Gift

He met her later
his passion withheld
desire restrained
Her eyes still burning
to eat his heart
and dispose
of their pleasure

The Gift

One heart touched the other
blood flowing
energy pumping
between them
their spheres shifting
opening space
inside small doors
hidden between
respective valves

The Gift

I took his hand in mine
I told him
I want a caress

He responded

lying my heart
atop his

saying

he would hold me
gently
at least half
an hour

each
meeting

like i asked for.

Under The Dining Room Table

I saw my father 's feet
reach in under
my little lace skirts
ruffles

I was twelve
then ,eating
a big family
meal

lamenting
the system
of education

but his toe
just crawled
deeper
up the frilly
white trimming

until
injury came
in
my body

I could talk
no more

The silence
of my ideas

memory

began to hide
my life under
tables

where people ate, cooked,
and sat

A formal room of wood and oak
now stained with the blood
of his submarine invasion

My mother could only giggle
as eight year old girls
do and pretend not to see

where were her wet
warm legs
when he needed to reach
deeper into her womb
to caress his wounds
of the workaday
world?

Safe
He's not
safe
me.,
I'm not
safe.....

Where are my children

I hear them laughing
in the hallway
its as if two or three
of them
are already born
on their way to young
adulthood

Souls hover around me
awaiting my paternal
partner.

What are you waiting for Mommy ?
they yell

Outline

False Self
Loss of Self

Find

True Self

Home From Vegas

Four days I sweated
Toiled with the idea
of sleekly touching
my labia's skin

No,

I decided I'd wait for
the man I married

He went to an electronics show
the new interactive media
replacing interactive
people
in the year 2000

He was home, sweet smelling of sex
and warmth like juices
I never perceived
reminding me of lovers
I knew long ago

He didn't touch me though
a dab on the cheek
Just like a warm mediterranean welcome
to a casual friend

Not

like a lasting, longing husband

who needed my warmth and breath
I cried bittersweet tears
into the midnight

chocolate, chocolate,

I order in earlier

who else was left to hear my woe
but the dreamy fudge bar.

January 9/ 1993 3 am

Ten Years Later
Still dreaming of Love

Children born
wife divorced
husbands' estranged
I'd find you in the town
of your birth

This town I dreamed
I'd live in
raise
a family
of our own

While i painted
you would cultivate
the wine

I arrive
at the time
impending
coma

we find
each other


Walking
in the countryside
of your youth

We are not old yet
but we

are older


Have we learned
Something
of ourselves
or are we
still children
Somewhere
in the dark

The Muddled Conversation

You'll never amount to nothing

I work

You'll never make any money

I paint

Your just a person

with hobbies

No life insurance

in the night
I fled
Sweet
lobster dinners
prepared
along with
home- improvement
loans

I want to admit

for in telling

the truth

I reveal

my own

betrayal

of me

Frightful nights

Pay attention

take stronghold

of myself

Fear

To be

Responsibility

creeps in

my inner ear

makes me afraid

to drum

The great escape

Sometimes I think I'll fly there

Othertimes I imagine I'd cruise over the Aegean Sea

but momentary fancy cannot set me

free

for you to be in

me

so I stay planted

festered in pain

and dirt mud

slides

of the California sea

side

I watched the break-up of
two many marriages, two many kids
left
Surrounded with another
Mommy or Daddy
Its too, too
late
but it keeps happening
again and again

they never learn
will they?

TEN YEARS GO BY AND WE MEET ON THE EVE
OF YOUR FATHER DYING

Your fathers eyes have opened now

His blood is stronger

His heart beats faster

His pulse accelerates

while his fever declines

There is hope

Is there hope

for us to be

happy

in our own separate way

Two souls rejoin

Rejoice in caress

Where does that empty tenderness

lead us, before bed

His blood is stronger

Day in the country drinking red

sparkling

dessert wine

we too, get to see each other

in a new light.

There is hope

How many sorrows must we

suffer in order that we know

ourselves truthfully

Your fathers eyes have opened now

as the sound of the church bells

ring

in the town of Schio

I hear my heart long for those moments

past of innocent loving

while his fever declines

I know love is stained

tainted by our illusions of who

we are and where we should be on this planet.

His heart beats faster

i be come yours forever

and
never

You move your body
Jumping
Along the fall
Leaves to show me
the direction
the sun
will set

love is for
living

life is for
loving

the examined
love
is worth
living

I miss
your hand in mine
as we stand
across
the square

I realize
there is no
one
else there

but the hills
in the distance
and the duomo
proudly carved
in stone
and marble

Poetologist

Like an archeologist

I dig through walled boxes to find

treasures

scribbled on fading newsprint

or fossilized articles of clothing

inside a poem want its story told

with feeling.

I bring it out

updating the cyrillic

to carbon computer

in the hopes that others

will see the jewels of

emotional history

When love is needed, wanted and then denied
I search the world over

calling Paris, then Rome and Athens bazaars


called and old lover in la to feel thru telephone lines
wrote a boyfriend in Baghdad
to get kisses through the wires

I'd even telex Iran to see if the shah wanted to
wrap me in mourning
like the other woman who serve khomeni

The champagne froze
as it sat like I quietly;
bubbling
awaiting your arrival
into the late night

but you never came

I knew you were rolling your
Dick
in the breasts of another

Your arms wrapping around
her; into you

as they did mine

when we were together.

I lived for the next day
Escaped the horror of the night

Hoping the raping of my soul

will not freeze
my spirit

Hoping the bubbles will riddle
out all the yeast

which lives inside ,
its a disease
this love
without
love of self

Live
with sentiments
where truth hides
sandwiched
into cellulite thighs

The mentor
and the fuck
lusty minds and bodies
jive
teacher
student
thing

If I give up Don Juana

Where will she go
that part of me
whose deeds seduce every man
like a honey bee atop her flower
needing to suck, suckle
and scar.

The organized, merchant moved
in
kicked the gaiety over
by setting
up his stops
mopping
the hard shine

The boy with the blue
eyes
rode the train
quietly looking
out
the window at every turn

to see butterflies

and moths beneath

pine trees

on a large lake

called champlain

He didn't know my heart was pounding

The whistle blew

Last stop

We both got out

"Not much to do around here but there is a lot to look at" said he

And disappeared

across the American railway

Tea Rose

My life is an aphrodisiac

it takes me higher

to the next hard on

with your oil

in the night

flowers blooming

Seduced by the Muse

you move away

from your feelings

away from the truth

your naked

lost

like with your lover

your soul can only bare

itself.

slowing down

reconnecting

slow down

drifting on

drift apart

movement ; constant

Career woman

With her teary eyes
mystic gail
I've seen her smile
reticently
on a Thursday
in between
the hollering
and back biting
office politics
she could run for office
yet she's already elect
single Mom
on a daily basis

Seduced by the muse, but in the muse

You move away

from your feelings

away from the truth

your naked

your soul can only bake

itself

in

process of aging

The separation is wide
The disparity between
inner and outer
tender and cruel

Media run to Somalia
while homeless
sweep the beaches of smog
alley ways of piss
streets of concrete palm trees
where nothing is let uncovered
by the mix poured in cement

Matching

He bought her a bright blue
pinned
stripped
class suit

I bought the same in grey
for his wife

to taste

He bought her zebra black shoes of suede

basic black for his wife at home

Proper attire

lovers dress

in matching

outfits

Spayed overseas

How many people do I hear inside

In greece, I roam the fields and file

away platonic verses and aristotelean logic

In French femme fatal

towards motion puckering

with my lips

and tongue

in Italy its time

for feeding

frenzy

fast

Tears encompass Love

I NEEDED TO BE LOVED

HE NEEDED TO FEEL GUILTY

hE HID HIS FEARS

I HID MY DREAMS

SOMEWHERE IN THE SHADOWS

WE MET

i FOUND A MENTOR

TO GAZE INWARD

hE A WILD STALLION

TO SHOUT OUT LOUD

WITH jOY

pOEM ONE
HE ASKED IF I WERE ATTACHED

I SAID YES, I THINK ITS BEST we NEVER AGAIN

MEET

SOMETHING DROVE HIM

tO END

her UNION OF MARRIAGE

FOREVER

A TALE

TO END

THIS BURNING

HE WAS OUT TO BE MY SORCERER

i HAD NO COMPLAINTS

DON JUAN

A lA RUSSE REVISITED

WITH HIS DARK HAIR AND GREEN

EYES

IN EUROPEAN DRESS.

hE APPEARED

ONCE IN A DREAM NOW HE IS A MEMORY
of conquest past.


Poem two

Since we've been married

h e said he slept with ten woman

one new one every year

when it became too serious

they ceased , cut off

so as to remain rooted in me

as if i were fancy branch

or tree

held strong even in the desert winds blow

i've gone from size 14 to 7 to 14 again

when the mid layers of rolls

hang over my zipper too tight

I lie in tears

a puddle again

this time the rug is grey

I no longer cry on the lime green

shaggy carpet of a sixties adolescence

with my head knit to the weave.

A bed of industrial threads have woven

their sanction through my hand

my loneliness aches

this time

stronger

wiser

I am no less afraid

my body's corpulence hides the pain

its seventeen years later

Prescence

I lied to you

I was hitched

I just wanted to be in love

I just waited to feel heart beat next to me

I just wanted to watch the sunrise

together

one more time

even if I haven't the courage to make it last

even if you go back together with her

and I with him'.

its in the presence of another

we learn most of all what we

feel is just how we feel

It's a problem to be real

; withhow we feel.

Inspired Poet

Never lost a moment in her production time
yet she lived out of linear time they taught her
rain 50 years ago, unto the last moment known
Time was soft, silent emotional in its timber/timbre!